Does time really fly?

It's 1 am.
I've had dinner, watched some late night comedy shows, and brushed my teeth in preparation to going to bed.
I looked at the 3 stacked books on the bedside table but I didn't feel like reading any of them. At the bottom there is an economics book that I almost finished but not quite, a stock market book on top of that that I almost finished but not quite, and on the top there is a humurous book about one author's first hand experience with extremists, a book that I almost finished but...you've guessed it.
But I felt like reading something a little light hearted, so I turned to the stacked book shelf, and grabbed a copy of TopGear the magazine that I got a few weeks ago after looking for it all over the US. I learned that Barnes & Noble seems to be the only bookstore that carries European car magazines around here.

It's "Car of the Year" issue, gotta be interesting. But wait a minute, it says 2005 cars of the year. This can't be right. I double checked and it does say 2005. I looked for the tiny date on the top right corner, it said January 2006.
I got this issue 13 months ago, not a few weeks ago.
And this is probably the first time I really realize that it's 2007, that I've been in the US for 17 months now, and that pretty soon in what will seem like a few days I'll be 26 years old.
I have no idea what to make out of all that.
And this is when I grabbed the laptop and started writing this post, mostly because I had a mental hang and thought that writing may unblock it.

I changed a lot in a year and a bit, although I can't be entirely sure since nobody who knew me from "the previous lifetime" has seen me since I came here to attest to that change.
I still, however, can not say that I'm in a substantially different place in my life than I was a year ago. I'm not sure if I was standing still the whole time or running around in small circles.
Do I have to be in a different place (figuratively speaking) every year? Or does running around in circles still count?

I'd decided to take a break for a bit when I came here, I need one after running for 25 minutes so it seemed appropriate after racing life for 25 years. "I'll just take it all in, catch my breath, and then lock on another target and go for it", I thought to myself.
But getting back in the ring after a break is harder than I thought it would be.
And somehow I don't feel that much more refreshed than before I took the break.
And I need a mark before I start shooting.

Does time really fly? Or have I fallen asleep on my break?
It's 1:20 am.

Conversations

I find it fairly interesting that the level of any conversation I'm in depends heavily on the participant.
I find myself talking fairly trivial stuff with some people, and highly abstract and/or philosophical subjects with others.
Everyone else is probably like that, it's not like a special ability of mine.

So this lame excuse for a post is a snippet of a conversation held with one of my dear and highly respected friends a few days ago. C is my humble self.


C: The recurring "so what really is the point?" question strikes every now and then
D: Oh, that question :D
C: Any significant amount of happiness is followed by a similar in quantity opposite in direction amount of unhappiness.
D: Yeah i know all about it.
C: You can't win.
C: and you know a million others would kill for what you have
C: but you know better, because one day _you_ would've killed for what you currently have
C: and now you'd kill for what somebody else has
C: and they would kill for what somebody else has
C: and on top of the pyramid there are thsoe who would kill for what nobody else has
D: :D
D: well am going through a similar phase myself and it's hard I know
D: and harder i guess when you are away
C: is that what they call growing up or something?
D: exactly
D: that line from queen "no one ever told the truth to me about growing up and what a struggle it can be" has never been so relevant
C: and i dunno why life has this annoying habit
C: of giving me a taste of what i want, and then just when I start thinking about how great it is and how I would happily give up other stuff to keep it
C: takes it away
C: i swear i could see somebody sticking their tongue out every time this happens
C: because somebody out there apparently thinks that having everything one wants is too much

Ribs and Hearts

A wise funny man once said "In order to pretend doing something I actually do it, this way I'm only pretending to be pretending".

It's winter and snow is abound, Guy number 1 likes the snow and thinks snow sports would be fun to try. He'll learn something new, have an interesting story to tell, and who knows, maybe he'll find a new favorite sport that he could spend the rest of his life enjoying and perfecting, the guy (affectionately called G1 from now on) thinks.
G1 still remembers his rollerblading incident, when he fell on his back and fractured his tail bone. He was in pain for more than a few weeks because of it. He nevertheless decides to go ahead and snowboard, it'd be silly to let that incident scare him off.
He goes up and down the slopes quite a few times, 2 weeks and numerous small falls later he's getting better, or he thinks he is. He takes on a steeper slope, and decides to jump off a ramp while he's at it. "How hard can it be to jump a few inches and land on the board?", G1 thinks to himself.
He starts the descent, kinda scared at first, but as his speed increases so does his confidence. He's on a good trajectory to make it, he lines up his board perfectly with the narrow wooden ramp and right before he catches air he thinks the hard part is over.
He'd underestimated the landing it seems because just as his board is about to touch the snow again he feels something is wrong. His heavy head is determined on beating his feet to the snow, he extends his arms to try and brace for the fall. He lands on both his hands and feet, but he's not slowing down. The slope is so steep that gravity is overpowering the friction. He tries to slow down the fall but it's not working, a second or two that seem like a lifetime later his torso collides with the ground.
He can't breathe in for a minute from the impact, the pain is agonizing. Judging by the pain, he realizes he almost broke a rib and dislocated a shoulder. Almost but not quite.
It'll take him some time to recover from this one, but he survives.

In slightly different four dimensional coordinates, G2 meets a nice gal. "I should ask her out", G2 thinks to himself. He'll get to know a person, have interesting memories, and who knows, maybe he'll find the girl of his dreams in her and spend the rest of his life cherishing and sharing his moments with her.
G2 still remembers his breakup incident, when his heart was broken by a girl he loved. He was in pain for more than a few months because of it. But it'd be silly to let that scare him off.
They go out for quite a few times, 2 months and numerous small issues later things are getting better. Or he thinks they are. He thinks he's falling in love and he confesses it. "I love you too", she said ", but it's going to be hard". "How hard could it be for two people in love?" he thinks to himself.
He starts the journey, scared at first, but as their love grows so does his confidence they can make it. They're on a good trajectory to make it. They've been over a few hurdles and he thinks the hard part is over.
He'd underestimated circumstances out of his control it seems because just as he was happily adapting to the changes a serious relationship brings to one's life he feels something is wrong. Other people are determined on spoiling his happiness. He fights for what he thinks is his right to be with someone that makes him happy. But the web of ignorance, love for control, and general nonsense is so complicated that it's overpowering all his efforts.
A week or two that seem like a lifetime later, they're broken up.
He feels like he can't breathe in from the pain. He got his heart broken again.
It'll take him some time to recover from this one, but he survives.

I can only pretend to be G1 and G2.