Conversations

I find it fairly interesting that the level of any conversation I'm in depends heavily on the participant.
I find myself talking fairly trivial stuff with some people, and highly abstract and/or philosophical subjects with others.
Everyone else is probably like that, it's not like a special ability of mine.

So this lame excuse for a post is a snippet of a conversation held with one of my dear and highly respected friends a few days ago. C is my humble self.


C: The recurring "so what really is the point?" question strikes every now and then
D: Oh, that question :D
C: Any significant amount of happiness is followed by a similar in quantity opposite in direction amount of unhappiness.
D: Yeah i know all about it.
C: You can't win.
C: and you know a million others would kill for what you have
C: but you know better, because one day _you_ would've killed for what you currently have
C: and now you'd kill for what somebody else has
C: and they would kill for what somebody else has
C: and on top of the pyramid there are thsoe who would kill for what nobody else has
D: :D
D: well am going through a similar phase myself and it's hard I know
D: and harder i guess when you are away
C: is that what they call growing up or something?
D: exactly
D: that line from queen "no one ever told the truth to me about growing up and what a struggle it can be" has never been so relevant
C: and i dunno why life has this annoying habit
C: of giving me a taste of what i want, and then just when I start thinking about how great it is and how I would happily give up other stuff to keep it
C: takes it away
C: i swear i could see somebody sticking their tongue out every time this happens
C: because somebody out there apparently thinks that having everything one wants is too much

Ribs and Hearts

A wise funny man once said "In order to pretend doing something I actually do it, this way I'm only pretending to be pretending".

It's winter and snow is abound, Guy number 1 likes the snow and thinks snow sports would be fun to try. He'll learn something new, have an interesting story to tell, and who knows, maybe he'll find a new favorite sport that he could spend the rest of his life enjoying and perfecting, the guy (affectionately called G1 from now on) thinks.
G1 still remembers his rollerblading incident, when he fell on his back and fractured his tail bone. He was in pain for more than a few weeks because of it. He nevertheless decides to go ahead and snowboard, it'd be silly to let that incident scare him off.
He goes up and down the slopes quite a few times, 2 weeks and numerous small falls later he's getting better, or he thinks he is. He takes on a steeper slope, and decides to jump off a ramp while he's at it. "How hard can it be to jump a few inches and land on the board?", G1 thinks to himself.
He starts the descent, kinda scared at first, but as his speed increases so does his confidence. He's on a good trajectory to make it, he lines up his board perfectly with the narrow wooden ramp and right before he catches air he thinks the hard part is over.
He'd underestimated the landing it seems because just as his board is about to touch the snow again he feels something is wrong. His heavy head is determined on beating his feet to the snow, he extends his arms to try and brace for the fall. He lands on both his hands and feet, but he's not slowing down. The slope is so steep that gravity is overpowering the friction. He tries to slow down the fall but it's not working, a second or two that seem like a lifetime later his torso collides with the ground.
He can't breathe in for a minute from the impact, the pain is agonizing. Judging by the pain, he realizes he almost broke a rib and dislocated a shoulder. Almost but not quite.
It'll take him some time to recover from this one, but he survives.

In slightly different four dimensional coordinates, G2 meets a nice gal. "I should ask her out", G2 thinks to himself. He'll get to know a person, have interesting memories, and who knows, maybe he'll find the girl of his dreams in her and spend the rest of his life cherishing and sharing his moments with her.
G2 still remembers his breakup incident, when his heart was broken by a girl he loved. He was in pain for more than a few months because of it. But it'd be silly to let that scare him off.
They go out for quite a few times, 2 months and numerous small issues later things are getting better. Or he thinks they are. He thinks he's falling in love and he confesses it. "I love you too", she said ", but it's going to be hard". "How hard could it be for two people in love?" he thinks to himself.
He starts the journey, scared at first, but as their love grows so does his confidence they can make it. They're on a good trajectory to make it. They've been over a few hurdles and he thinks the hard part is over.
He'd underestimated circumstances out of his control it seems because just as he was happily adapting to the changes a serious relationship brings to one's life he feels something is wrong. Other people are determined on spoiling his happiness. He fights for what he thinks is his right to be with someone that makes him happy. But the web of ignorance, love for control, and general nonsense is so complicated that it's overpowering all his efforts.
A week or two that seem like a lifetime later, they're broken up.
He feels like he can't breathe in from the pain. He got his heart broken again.
It'll take him some time to recover from this one, but he survives.

I can only pretend to be G1 and G2.

Been some time

It's been more than 2 months since I posted anything, probably my longest blogging abstinence period since the 24 years I spent on the planet before I started the blog.

I can't really say why I haven't been blogging, because I don't know. It's not like nothing was happening or that life was monotonous. On the contrary, we had 2 snowstorms and a windstorm, the latter had us without power for 2 days. Seattle smashed its own record for its wettest month ever in November. I started Salsa dancing classes, and stopped. I went snowboarding twice and am slowly starting to get the hang of it. There was Christmas, and New Year's, and I took my first US road trip down to Reno 750 miles each way.
I also got a lot better at going sideways in the snow thanks to above mentioned weather and summer tires. There is a pretty boring video where you can see the slides improving after the first minute.

Still no clue why I never blogged any of that.
Maybe that's a wrong question to ask, one probably needs a reason to blog any of that, not lack thereof to not blog.

Anyway, I'll probably be back blogging more often for at least the near future.